On things that are important

I watched him go, excited and nervous, and thought to myself - or, rather, felt it - that we're in a good space in our lives right now.

It's a bit of a nuisance, sure, balancing our lives and our wants against having small children with us (which, by the way - having small children, that is - makes for the entire pace of life to slow down, considerably), but there is also something so simply romantic about these slow Saturday mornings we have, when the house is enveloped in a low cloud, it is oh-so-quiet, we have peanut butter toast for breakfast (okay, the boys have peanut butter toast and I have a carrot and an apple) and as we lay in bed watching a movie together, The Man holds his hand over my tummy and feels his daughter kick.

It almost makes me cry with gratitude.

There are many things I am not doing at the moment, things I want to be doing, but... at the same time, there is such beauty in what's happening now, in what I am doing, now.

It doesn't make much sense as a blog post, sorry for that, but I am just laying here and typing what I am feeling as The Man is on his way to a meeting which may alter his life considerably, and as I watch him go, I am so happy to see him strive again!

It's a balance between working hours and childcare arrangements and financial matters and everything else that happens within a family unit at this stage in our lives, but on the background of all of that, there are the important matters which... matter.

Am I happy? Are you happy?

I have watched several people close to me change their lives considerably recently, picking up dreams they've held for a while and deciding that rather than wait and put things off - there are always reasons to put things off, and always will be - that they will just find a way to follow their dreams now, and... you know what?

They've all found a way. Somehow, between working hours and childcare arrangements and financial matters, they've found a way to do things that are important to them and it's been a joy to witness it all - moves abroad, moves home from abroad, enrolling in courses and universities, changing careers.

And it's made me recount over and over again how I enjoy working with and being around people that inspire me.

I am not here to listen to "You shouldn't"-s or "You can't"-s or "That's not how it's done"-s, because I know for a fact now that I can always find a person who's already done something I want to be doing, and if they can do it, so can I.

And it's a joy to see The Man feel the "I can!" emotion pumping from within him, to see him pick up an amulet he carved from a bone several years ago and to see him slide his fingers across little markings he's carved into that bone - one line for work, one line for family, one line for life and the balance between the two - and to fasten the amulet around his neck where it belongs.

For several years now he has not worn it and I've seen it sit in his drawer, quietly and patiently, waiting for the time when he is ready to pick it up again, to remind himself of the things that are important and... it makes me grateful, it really does.

Off to pick up The Kid now, he's just woken from his afternoon nap.

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