On what food dreams become like

It's probably the first time in my life that I've been on a diet. You know, like, the one I actually stick to.

I've eaten with a strong preference towards one thing or another before, so technically you could probably say that I've "dieted" before. For example: for a while I ate iron-rich foods (when I was low on iron after The Kid's birth), or (mostly) gluten free when I wanted to see if it would make a difference (it did), (mostly) organic fruit and veggies after I worked on a farm in New Zealand and experienced first-hand how much stuff they put on the plants, to a point of not seeing a single worm in the ground after having weeded for days in a row. That kind of stuff.

But, man, this is different. This is, like, you know, an actual diet - an actual, hard-core diet; the sort where I don't just "eat with a strong preference", but where I count (count!) and limit (limit!) and measure (measure!) and - God forbid - forgo (forgo!!!), to a point of seeing photos of food and feeling my mouth well up.

That is not what my usual relationship with food is like, no, sir.

It's called gestational diabetes.

Like, I opened up Pinterest this morning to browse whilst helping The Kid have his breakfast and... I mean, look at this. This is what started coming up right on the first page.




And what was I having for breakfast? I really should've thought to take a photo.

1/3 of a pear.
A carrot.
A spoonful of yoghurt.
A mug of green tea.

...

It's sacrilege, that's what it is.

You know how they say that pregnancy hormones are highest in the mornings? Well, apparently, that's why gestational diabetes is, also, strongest in the mornings. If I have even three mouthfuls of porridge for breakfast - I've tried - my numbers are over the limit, so instead, breakfast has become this all-morning exercise of "have a little fruit and veggie, wait an hour, have a few mouthfuls of buckwheat and a sip of green milk, wait an hour, have a toast, wait an hour".

And then, from about mid-morning onwards, I can actually start eating. Limited portions, sure - always sticking in protein to balance out the carbohydrates, always measuring how much pasta or grains or whatever I am having - but still, eating. And then for dinner, when under normal circumstances I would eat something that is easy on digestion, I have the most of the day's carbohydrates instead.

Having a carrot and a third of a pear for breakfast is not eating. It's sacrilege. (Sorry, I am repeating myself. Again.)

Seeing that photo of cream-filled doughnuts on the front page of Pinterest makes me swallow audibly, and so does driving past Addington Coffee Co-Op on a Thursday morning on my way to the dietician, or seeing The Man and The Kid have pancakes for breakfast on a Sunday morning.

Thank you, placenta, for doing such a great job of nourishing my daughter in my tummy. (Going by how active the girlie is, she's doing great!) I appreciate you a lot, placenta, I really do!

But, man, am I ever looking forward to you, placenta, being out of my tummy along with your pregnant hormones! Geesh.

In a few months' time I will walk proudly into Addington Coffee Co-Op, buy a bottle of raspberry smoothie and have it, blissfully, with my cream-filled doughnuts or whatever equivalent the cafe has to offer.

And meanwhile, I will keep eating a breakfast of a single carrot, a third of a pear, a mouthful of yoghurt and green tea.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous23.3.14

    Ma tean, mida sa tunned... Mul oli hommik mõnevõrra parem, ma võisin lubada endale kas kaks sepikuviilu (ei mitte saia ja mitte leiva, vaid tavalise sepiku pisikest viilu) või siis kausikese kaeraklii putru (keedetud vee ja piimaga pooleks). Ma ei tea, mis putru sa muidu sööd aga kaeraklii puder oli iseenesest väga maitsev, äkki sobiks sulle ka. Üldiselt tundus mulle päris tihti, et kogu mu sööminine oligi ainult üks suur näksimine einete vahel, sest pidevalt oli kõht tühi ja midagi õieti ju süüa ei saanud. Tunnistan ausalt, et päris tihti juhtus, et ma oma süsivesikute normi päevas ära ei söönud, sest piir "piisavalt süsivesikuid ja oi jälle on suhkur kõrge" vahel oli õhkõrn ning lihtsam oli valgule panustada.

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    1. ma ei tea, kas sa oled uus-meremaa poes kunagi käinud, aga terad/leivad/segud mis ei ole 1) kaerahelbed või 2) valge sai / valge jahu on siin nö "eritooted", st neid tuleb taga ajada ja nad on üsna kallid kah.

      no näiteks: tatart ma hakkasin ostma umbes kaks aastat tagasi ja esiteks ma sain teda ühest pisikesest mahetoidu poekesest, ja sinna tuli eriliselt selleks minna sest muidu ma sinnakanti ei satu. nüüd on "minu" suur pood (kust ma ülejäänud toitu ostan) kah tatart müüma hakanud, aga ta on seal "eritoodete" riiulil - "certified organic" - nii et 500 g pakk maksab 10 dollarit. korralikku rukkileiba ma pole mitu aastat söönud, sest need paar leiba mis poes saadaval on, nad on sisuliselt... nagu saiad, ainult rukkijahuga, nii et nad ei ole juuretisega tehtud või vähemasti ei maitse üldse nagu leib maitsema peaks. sepik? pole sepikut üldse kusagil uus-meremaal näinud.

      kaeakliid... ma võin ju küsida nende käest, äkki kusagil seal spets-riiulitel on teda. huvitav, mis hinnaga? =) et, noh, siin on hoopis keerulisem niimoodi süüa, kui eestis oleks olnud.

      aga minu päev on kah pidev pisikeste näksieinete söömine, ainult selle vahega, et ma olen nõus ainult hommikuti näljane olema, kui veresuhkur on raskeim kontrollida, muul ajal ma pean ikka söönud olema ja kui läheb nii raskeks, et ma hakkan muidu kah näljaseks minema, noh, siis ma lähen insuliini või metmorfini peale, sest ma pole nõus kaalu kaotama, mul niigi on teda vähe varuks ja rinnapiima jaoks on mul kaalu vaja...

      ja valgud? ma ei ole vist kunagi nii palju kala, muna ja pähkleid söönud! =D

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