Getting those "waves" again

I'm tired of this. I really am!

Yesterday evening I told The Man that I feel like one of those "waves" is coming - and I was right. It's a very peculiar sort of tiredness I get just before a restless night is due and I have learned to recognize it now.

I hoped I was wrong, but... no, I wasn't. I was right, unfortunately - I did start getting those "waves" in my sleep last night.

How many times did it wake me up? I don't know, five, six maybe. Now in the morning hours I've had two or three more.

A pregnancy side effect, I think, is that I now also get a hot flush when it happens, so in addition to tingly face and arms and waiting for this damn thing to pass, I had to push off a blanket and then wait for everything to cool down again.

I'm tired of this thing! Mostly it is, I think, because life has changed so considerably since I am not allowed to drive any more. Everything's so... cumbersome. So much asking other people for help, so much depending, so much... logistics.

But also I am wanting to know what on earth this thing is and I am tired of not knowing any better, and I am looking forward to finally getting to meet a neurologist who will hopefully have a go at figuring this thing out.

Given how... unspecific my symptoms are I don't have much faith in a concrete resolution to it all, but I will keep on hoping for it whilst the investigation is underway, and I will also keep on hoping that they won't label me epileptic just because they can't think of what else this thing may be.

It's annoying, and it's tiresome, and it's cumbersome. It's stupid!

Wake up several times a night, face tingly, arms tingly, can't think straight... Then, in the morning, whilst already tired, the same thing, and then just waiting for the day to roll on and for this thing to pass because it always does, eventually.

I'm wanting to swear at this damn thing!

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