Tired, bored and nauseous

I feel like I'm looking down the end of a downpipe - or maybe I'm halfway down it already, I don't know.

I'm tired, nauseous, bored and sore in my throat. Exercise and socialising I rely so heavily on to keep myself reasonable/happy are both out the door at the moment and I'm feeling the results.

I haven't been up the hill for ages. Okay, sorry - I went there two days ago and was puffing and panting  once I got up top (which is not the norm under normal circumstances), so technically I have been, I guess, once.

It means The Dog isn't getting enough exercise either. The Man has been picking up my slack, but between a whole lot of other things I am not doing at the moment, he can't be doing all of it, so on some days The Dog doesn't get out the yard at all.

And you know what that means? That she's getting destructive again. Broken things, chewed up things, jumping, digging, and when let in, licking to a point of being really, really annoying.

The whole household is coming down. There's a pile of washing that's been sitting on a sofa for two weeks and the yard is starting to look like a jungle, overgrown (by grass that hasn't been mowed) and dug up (by The Dog).

The Kid gets proper food on evenings when The Man can cook, and lunches in my company are more like fruit, rice crackers, pasta and cheese - things that don't smell much and that he can eat on his own.

But wait, maybe I'm writing this all on a Saturday morning simply because I've been up since 3 am - my nose got so blocked up I had to breathe through my mouth, and that made my throat sore. I tried for over an hour, but then I took pity on The Man who wasn't getting sleep with me wheezing next to him either, and I went and sat in the spare bedroom until the sun came up in the morning.

So I'm just... tired. And bored. And nauseous. Impatient. Oh, did I mention tearful? Yeah, that, too.

I don't make a good ill person - I haven't got patience for it. I can handle feeling cr*p for a week, maybe two at most if it's taking a long while to clear, but after that I get tense and angry.

I have a certain standard to live my life to and this... loitering around the house, for a lack of a better word, is doing my head in. I'm bored laying down so much, and sitting, and resentful of standing by the kitchen sink, nauseous, but I really haven't got the energy to be doing my usual stuff, either. I keep telling myself to let it be, and let it go, and let myself be, but when I then also get this blocked nose which robs me of sleep, too, then I feel like banging my fist on the table and saying, look, you, this is not fun.

And a few expletives after that, too, ebut I won't repeat them here.

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