Two thoughts on having a dog

One: when calculating the cost of having a dog, I suggest you add up not only the cost of the dog itself, the vaccinations, a bit of veterinary backup money, feeding and accessories (crate, toys, leashes etc) but also the things that will be destroyed and will need to be bought anew / repaired.

The cost of buying a new phone. What hanging new wallpaper will be like. Paint, to cover up bits of drywall she's scratched up. Oh, and if your child happens to have a collection of plastic dinosaurs, I suggest you start looking into getting another one because soon, all dinosaurs will be legless, headless and tailless, so it will be more like having a collection of dinosaur bodies or dinosaur carcasses.

And two: The Man's comment on The Dog's antics was, " So when do we get to put her up on TradeMe?"

Thanks, sweetie, very "funny" indeed.

And PS, before any of you start telling me off for not exercising her enough, or not having enough doggie chew toys, or not paying enough attention, I dare say - I exercise her, I work her, she's got toys, and screw you.

She's a Lab.

8 comments:

  1. Have you tried giving other safe stuff for trashing (besides chewy toys) - tree branches or logs, plastic bottles etc But NOT old shoes!! They can't make a difference between new and old ;) If you haven't tried it yet, then Kong rubber toy (you put food inside and dog has to lick it out) is also a good way to keep them occupied ;)

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    1. Why, yes - she has a whole collection of branches she drags around, and bits she digs up from ground (ie plastic bottles, rags and other old, smelly stuff that's been buried for years) and we also give her dried pig ears and dried cow ears, though given how big and powerful her jaw has become, they don't last more than 10 minutes now.

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  2. Dogs are essential. I couldn't live up here on this mountain in the middle of the forest without dogs. They let me know when I have bears or wild hogs out around the buildings, so I don't walk up on them and get mauled. Dogs are great friends and they'll never dump you for somebody else or put their own interests ahead of yours. I know the things you are dealing with are aggravating but it's really a small price to pay for what you get in return.

    If you REALLY want an animal that will trash you right down into the ground, try goats. I had two and they ate the side of my house, ate the brake lines on my truck, but would not eat the sweet grass in my meadow which is what I got them for. I would up giving them to an old guy who kept goats for pets. He didn't sell them to the Mexicans to eat.

    I also have six ferrets who live in the house with me. One of them recently chewed up the recoil pad on my AK47 but I forgave him, they are great little creatures. ;-)

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    1. Harry, this made me laugh. For several reasons, actually.

      I don't need goats, because my neighbors have two - and because bastards climb and jump fences then that means I've got goats, too. And heck, seeing what they do and have done, I am SO NOT GETTING GOATS, EVER! They trash everything except grass. It's like living with a destructo-monster and still having to mow lawn.

      There's also possums, though luckily they get shot every now and again. There's a palm tree next to the house where, it seems, they like to live, so whenever one gets shot down another one moves in, and occasionally they have fights - I presume when one wants to move in when the other one hasn't been shot yet.

      They wake up at night and run the length of our tin roof - dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk one way, then dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk the other way.

      Oh, and rabbits - they eat grass, sure, but they also eat veggies and strawberries and whatever else grows in the garden.

      And chickens - useful little buggers. But you know what? They, too, trash the garden. And the bastards fly over fences. Fly!

      Last year we got six ducks because they're cute, eat grass and lay eggs, but then a stoat came 'round and cleaned them all up, chewed their necks right through.

      So, yeah, I think my dog kinda fits this house.

      Talking of which: my kid just brought me a page he's ripped out of a book somewhere. Great, thanks, kiddo.

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    2. Harry, why have you got an AK47?

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  3. The last comment is awesome! Just laughing here.

    But you Mann. Vent. Venting is good :) You seriously make me want to get a labrador myself one day (if and when I ever settle down).

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    1. I used to read "Marley and me" and think, I can totally put up with that sort of mess. And I can, most of the time, because a lot of what she does is funny.

      Heck, even the phone makes me laugh, except for the fact that I now have to drive to town today to go get a new one, and they don't make Nokia 5110's any more, which were *almost* indestructible. (Now THAT was a phone I loved!)

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  4. No worries.. it will get better.. eventually.. some day. At least when they are about three years old (the dog i mean... with kids it will take a lot longer) they will finally start showing some kind of relaxed and i-am-listening-to-you-immediately-after-i-have-just-finished-this-very-important-thing-i-am-middle-of attitude.
    So the future will be bright.. hang on... and enjoy your new things.

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