Two people I bet you'd want to swap your lives with, eh?

I hope Harry doesn't mind me posting it here: he's just written a comment under "Two thoughts on having a dog" and I posted a lengthy reply and then I thought, this stuff could do with some sharing!

So, this is what Harry wrote:

"Dogs are essential. I couldn't live up here on this mountain in the middle of the forest without dogs. They let me know when I have bears or wild hogs out around the buildings, so I don't walk up on them and get mauled. Dogs are great friends and they'll never dump you for somebody else or put their own interests ahead of yours. I know the things you are dealing with are aggravating but it's really a small price to pay for what you get in return.

If you REALLY want an animal that will trash you right down into the ground, try goats. I had two and they ate the side of my house, ate the brake lines on my truck, but would not eat the sweet grass in my meadow which is what I got them for. I would up giving them to an old guy who kept goats for pets. He didn't sell them to the Mexicans to eat.

I also have six ferrets who live in the house with me. One of them recently chewed up the recoil pad on my AK47 but I forgave him, they are great little creatures. ;-)"

And this is what I wrote in reply:

"Harry, this made me laugh. For several reasons, actually.

I don't need goats, because my neighbors have two - and because bastards climb and jump fences then that means I've got goats, too. And heck, seeing what they do and have done, I am SO NOT GETTING GOATS, EVER! They trash everything except grass. It's like living with a destructo-monster and still having to mow lawn.

There's also possums, though luckily they get shot every now and again. There's a palm tree next to the house where, it seems, they like to live, so whenever one gets shot down another one moves in, and occasionally they have fights - I presume when one wants to move in when the other one hasn't been shot yet.

They wake up at night and run the length of our tin roof - dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk one way, then dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk the other way.

Oh, and rabbits - they eat grass, sure, but they also eat veggies and strawberries and whatever else grows in the garden.

And chickens - useful little buggers. But you know what? They, too, trash the garden. And the bastards fly over fences. Fly!

Last year we got six ducks because they're cute, eat grass and lay eggs, but then a stoat came 'round and cleaned them all up, chewed their necks right through.

So, yeah, I think my dog kinda fits this house.

Talking of which: my kid just brought me a page he's ripped out of a book somewhere. Great, thanks, kiddo."

Funny, eh?


  1. Good call on the goats. They are interesting animals with a lot of character, but they are just too destructive unless you can keep them fenced in. As your neighbor appears to have proven, that's not easy.

    Poor possums! They need to move away from that tree, it's not a good neighborhood for possums!
    ;-) I'm not a hunter but my brother went all the way to New Zealand just to shoot a Red Stag.

    I have chickens but they definitely are a pain. They poop on the vehicles. They fight each other and I am always finding the losers of these conflicts around the place and then I have to bury them. If I just threw them in the woods it would draw the bears and hogs.

    A stoat is a weasel, isn't it? Sorry they killed your ducks, that must have been sad. My ferrets live in the house so they don't get mixed up with the animals outside.

    It all kind of puts your dogs activities into perspective, doesn't it. Hope the book wasn't an expensive one. Some of mine still have art work in crayon from when my daughter was a three year old. She's 26 now.

  2. I've had ducks, they're actually more destructive than chooks. Our lawn looked like a swamp when they were done. I'd never do the duck thing again. At one point here we had a cat, ducks and guinea pigs all at the same time. One of the guinea pigs decided he wanted to free range and something bit his head off; he'd waited all day to escape and didn't get more than 5m from his cage. Boy duck got killed and eaten by us, girl duck went to my bosses farm cos at least she was useful for eggs. We still have the cats, they seem a lot easier to keep than anything else we've tried, and keep their destructive tendencies down to paper for one and my spinning fibre for the other.