If Maria were a real estate agent...

This is fun!

So, after watching - for years - my friends fiddle with Photoshop I finally gathered up my guts and opened the bloody thing on my computer. Then I went and googled "photoshop tutorial" and opened up this Youtube video:

And then I went and listened to everything this guy had to say and followed him, step by step, like a kid in the first ever computer class. Something along the lines of this: the guy says, "You can also make your brush bigger and smaller if you have bracket keys on your keyboard. So on US keyboards it would be next to letter P," at which point I pause the video and start diligently looking at my keyboard, "P, P, letter P... Ha! Here! Letter P is here! So, the bracket key has to be somewhere... Ha! Here! I found it!" [Presses the bracket key] "Ha! It works!"

Yeah, something along the lines of this.

And because the first photo he was working on was a lady on a white background then I went and looked up a photo of ME on a white background, like this:

And when we'd fiddled with it for a while he went and started putting it on a colorful background, so I also looked up a colorful photo for a background. Like this:

And then what happened next is this:

Now this is probably the point where Photoshop gurus take one look at it and cringe, followed by, "Bluaht!" (insert sound of vomiting)

But you know what? I don't effin' care because I JUST PASTED MY PHOTO ONTO ANOTHER PHOTO!

And don't worry, I promise, I am not getting into real estate sales. Really.

Because this is exactly what this photo looks like: like those big posters on people's fences, the ones where desperately smiling women and men, dressed in button-down shirts and wearing lots of make-up, are almost screaming off the poster, "Buy this house! I said buy! This! House! I'm gonna stalk you for the rest of your life if you don't buy this house! Now!"

But maybe I should get into real estate? Then I could fiddle with Youtube tutorials like this for years. Maybe I'd even become one of those people who put up Youtube tutorials for young real estate agents who have all the enthusiasm but no money yet.

Choices, choices, choices.

But hey, I just pasted my photo onto another photo ;)


  1. Oh I love this - you make me smile every time I check out your blog. Good on you. Photoshop has been sitting on my laptop for 18 months. I have even attended a course but am still scared to use it! Roz

    1. So, Roz, have you googled a youtube photoshop tutorial of your own yet?