On dying

I'm glad that both me and The Man share a view on living and dying, at least from this point here where we're young and healthy. Reading this article here (and I really recommend reading part I, it's well written!) we didn't end up in any long discussions or arguments over what we think is right, but rather just confirmed to each other what we already knew was the case: that if he can't stand for his wishes when time comes then I will, and vice versa.

If anything, both me and The Man have to have backbone to stand up to our respective families in case they disagree - which I don't know if they will, but if that was the case then my mother can be pretty darn daunting and I bet The Man's sister could have a really good go at me if she really wanted to :D. But I'm getting off topic here.

We decided something after having read this article.

Four years ago when I went to New Zealand I gave a letter to a dear friend of mine - a letter to be opened in case I died - and it was a few pretty straightforward pages of What To Do instructions, nothing fancy: key friends' (who can let the message go out fast and reliably) names, e-mails and phone numbers, a few of my wishes, simple stuff.

Now we - me and The Man - have decided to put the same thing in writing, but in English, and not about so much dying, as in, "what to do when I'm already dead", but "what to do if I'm in pretty bad shape but not yet dead". And mostly not because of each other, but because of other people, whoever they might be, so that if need be, we wouldn't have to argue with other people who disagree and think they have - and should have - a say. If there's a paper saying, look, this is what he/she wanted, now shut up, then I reckon it'd be easier. What do you think?

And remember I said recently that I repeat myself a lot? Well, I do. http://newzealanditisthen.blogspot.co.nz/2013/06/on-euthanasia.html


  1. I think this is a good and brave idea. You have to face the worst-case scenario to write something like that and I admire you.

  2. I think it's important for the people left behind to know exactly what to do. who to call. what to sell or not sell. and how to manage life if it has complicated aspects in general. what you're doing is very caring.