I'm done with no for a while now

For a while I kept hearing no, no, no in my head.

Want to do x, but ain't gonna happen. Would be reaaaaaaally good to do y, but, f*ck, ain't gonna happen either. Along those lines.

And sometime last week I'd had enough of no. I cried and I stomped my feet and I sulked and I had a bloody good argument with The Man, and when all that anger had steamed its way out, there was suddenly silence - God, it's been such a long time since I last had silence in my head that at first I felt like cocking my head to the side, like The Dog does, and looking at this weird new thing expectantly and then I demanded to know, what the hell is this thing, this absence of noise?! - and then the next morning solutions started popping up. Just like that.

And I was, like, dude, this is awesome.

And now I'm sitting in the kitchen typing away, The Kid has been a right grump (got up at five, then at six, wouldn't eat his porridge but would scream over porridge bits on his fingers - you know the drill) and yet it's not getting to me today. It's not... silence today, but it's a stillness of sorts.

It's almost like I'm half-expecting this anger and confusion to blast out of the microwave or the window or whatever, and start building barriers again - but it's not happening. There's no-one in the microwave. There's no-one behind the window, I checked. No-one is ripping my new-found solutions away from me.

Alright, I did have a few more things to say but I'll go play with the little one now. But before I do that: I don't know if people who haven't got toddlers they share their homes with will really get me on this one, but

You know the feeling when you've gone to use the toilet and you've done your business and fixed your clothing and flushed the damn thing and you suddenly realise: oh, wow, I am still alone! Somehow it has happened this time that there's no-one banging away at the door, and no-one's driven their plastic truck into the room and then demanded to see what it is that you're doing on the toilet, and it's just... wow. The beauty of being able to go to the toilet uninterrupted.

Simple pleasures of parenthood, eh.

PS. On another note: there is someone banging his plastic truck into my chair as I'm typing this, and he looks sort of pissed of that my chair is in the way of his truck, even if I'm sitting in the corner of the room and to reasonable people, I'm not in the way of anything, but here you go.

2 comments:

  1. If I made it to the end of a toilet stop without interruption when mine were toddlers, my first thought was often "Oh no, what's he/she up to now..."

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    1. so how long does it last? this limitless interest towards toilets? until they get potty trained and toilet becomes a chore? =D

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