On connections made

I received a letter from a dear friend of mine today.

I read it all in one go, a whole book of a letter, tearing up at some times and grinning at other times. She is such a wonderful spirit, that girl.

At one point she wrote, "You are right, there was something about that summer in Skagway of 2006. What was it exactly none of us will probably ever really be able to put into words. But I'll try a little bit just because I cannot help myself. You, for example, were one of the reasons is was so special. Nutters like you don't come around very often :). Nutters like Elizabeth Jayne, Randy, Jennifer Hausmann, Justyn Moody, Richard, Joe, Liz Landi..."

I still get a little tingling along my spine as I'm typing it up here.

I know many people have said things like what I'm about to say before and that it probably looks a bit too cheesy for many people's liking, and just as well I could say that being born on that certain date changed my life, and dating a certain boy in school changed it, and eating pancakes on a Saturday morning changed my life, but...

That summer in Alaska changed so. Many. Things for me. So many.

I know that if I were forty I would probably be better at putting it into words, and in some ways a book I wrote about Alaska is lacking because I was lacking perspective at the time of writing it - almost everyone does at twenty two - but at the same time I'm not sure if I will ever get better at it, at writing down why that summer was so special for me.

For some reason the connections I made that summer have lasted throughout years and distances. And more importantly, I learned that summer that if I really want to, I can do anything. Anything.

It makes my heart sing and weep all at the same time to think about it and in so many ways I've learned to appreciate this journey I'm on. That crappy little job I was doing at uni which led me to discover a little ad on the internet, sled dog handlers wanted. Or a boy and heartache I cried for months on end about, and then hated - and now I think back on it and appreciate it.

If I saw that boy again I would say, I am sorry, and I would also say, thank you. Thank you so much because of how important you've been to me.

I've been so blessed with people I have around me. So many of them are such crazy nutter characters! Characters with a capital C. And just like a few weeks back I think about them and think, I wish I were sitting with you at that pasta place downtown and chatting away carelessly, or looking at you on that snowy bridge and swearing at you because my feet are numb with cold and I'm wet from that motherf*cking raft, or seeing you arrive back at the flat at 11 pm and ask, are you alright?, or... so many things.

In other ways I simply know that you are all on your special little journeys around the globe, some up in the Arctic, others down in the Tropics, and some of you I will probably never see again, and some of you I will, but in the end it doesn't really matter because what matters is that I've had you around and I've learned from you and you've moved me and every day I think of some of you and smile, inside.

Thank you, guys.


  1. Proovin mitu korda juba kommenteerida! Ei saa!!! Fotod siin oleksid nagu kõik omad, olen neid juba kõiki näinud, "minu alaska"-s kirjeldatud, head mälestused! ka mulle!

  2. Maria you asked on my blog about my cookie recipe, it wasn't me though, try Miriam, pretty sure she makes the loveliest of chocolate chip cookies. I make chocolate cake :)

  3. I was tempted to leave a comment right after you published the post ... Then hesitated ... i mean, it is pretty personal and what have I got to comment here, right!? But, let me still leave my thoughts behind - I LOVED this post. it's not only powerful and so incredibly beautiful, it's a post i wish my kids would read when they turn 18 - go and explore and make life happen!

  4. aitäh, mäemamma =)